Dear Sexorcist:
Why won’t my boyfriend let me see him naked? Sometimes after sex, he will sleep naked, but if he ever gets out of bed, he’ll immediately cover up. We’ve been together for five months, and we have yet to shower together. I just hate that he seems to feel so shy around me. I’m pretty open about being naked which he seems to enjoy a lot, but I’d like a little reciprocation here! I would bring it up, but I just don’t want to risk embarrassing him or making him even more self-conscious. What should I do here? On a side note, he does have a bit of an issue with premature ejaculation, but we’ve figured out how to cope with that. The sex is actually amazing for me, and he says it’s the best sexual chemistry he has ever had as well.
–Puzzled
Dear Puzzled:
Sounds like he’s got an advanced case of modesty. Nudity can make people feel emotionally exposed and it’s almost always manifested in a feeling of inferiority. You know, like waiting for a good table at Bacchanalia.
The modesty typically starts with a home indoctrination of nudity as a fully clothed wrong. Sometimes it’s a result of being ashamed of some characteristic—a birthmark that attracts unwanted attention, a flaccid penis that looks like a baby cashew, or a hair pattern that makes your genitalia look like the last chicken in the shop.
Sometimes trauma powers the modesty into full-blown body shame. Like mine, for example. When I was a teen my brother asked me, “Hey, would you wear shoes if you had no feet?” I said of course not. “Then why,” he asked, “Are you wearing a jockstrap?”
My point, and I do have one, is that… Click here to read more