Hmm. Maybe, “You look a little anemic. How about some iron?”
Dear Sexorcist:
How do I tell my boyfriend I want to have sex during my period? It’s early in our relationship and I feel kinda funny about asking, especially because he’s so prim and proper. Plus, I’ve never had sex while I was menstruating, so I’m not sure about the logistics, if you know what I mean. Help!
– Baffled in Buckhead
Dear Baffled:
I’d start out by saying, “You look a little anemic. How about some iron?”
Listen, the difference between conquest and seduction is salesmanship, so pretend you’re selling him a joyride in a stolen car. You know, the one with the leaky oil pan.
It’s a joyride a lot of men like to take, over and over. Between the additional lubrication and the pelvic congestion everything is warmer, wetter, and wilder. In fact, too wild. It feels so good a lot of men turn into Two Pump Chumps.
Still, sex during menstruation can make a man’s blood run cold. Diplomacy is key. Saying, “You can swim in the lake but you can’t drink the water” will be a lot more effective with a shy boyfriend than, “I want you to fuck the blood out of me.”
But really, you don’t need words. Give him a Category 5 blowjob and he’ll be begging you to let him pull the tampon out. Seriously, go in like you’re taking a scuba lesson and his objections will trickle away. It’s called the Bridge Technique. You get him hot and bothered with one sex act and “bridge” the objections into the next one.
Don’t leave anything to chance, though. Be prepared. Here’s my list: