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Like A Pornstar

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How Sex Explains “Marketing.”

Being a sex columnist and a former marketing executive, I just love this hilarious parallel.

1. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
 and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”


That’s Direct Marketing.



2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of 
your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in
 bed.”

That’s Advertising.




3. You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone 
number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”


That’s Telemarketing.




4. You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
 and pour him a drink. You say, “May I,” and reach up to straighten his 
tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the
 way, I’m fantastic in bed.”  

That’s Public Relations.




5. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I 
hear you’re fantastic in bed.”  

That’s Brand Recognition.



6. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk 
him into going home with your friend.  

That’s a Sales Rep.



7. Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you.


That’s Tech Support.



8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
 handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the 
roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your 
lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”

That’s Junk Mail.



9. You see two great looking brothers at a party. You decide to take them
 both home.  

That’s a 2 for 1 sale.



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