“It’s a good thing it didn’t happen in Alabama where I would have been arrested instead of being mortified.”
I just read in the newspaper that the Alabama Supreme Court has rejected a challenge to a state law prohibiting the sale of any obscene device for stimulation of the genitals. The Love Store in Hoover (near Montgomery) Alabama had challenged the law as unconstitutional. The Alabama Supreme Court rejected the challenge Friday in a 7-2 decision.
The court, primarily male, confirms my belief that men have a powerful fear that a woman might get addicted to her vibrator and not need him anymore.
While it’s a valid fear, since most of those old farts wouldn’t know a clitoris much less a g-spot if it hit them in the face, I believe you can always teach an old dog new tricks. I am a big proponent of the philosophy of “if Mama’s happy, everybody is happy.” I know from personal experience, that dildos keep Mama happy. Men have their power tools, why shouldn’t women?
Vibrators were actually developed in the early 1880s by time pressed gynecologists.
It seems that for years, doctors were giving their female patients vaginal massages for the relief of “hysteria” which carried such symptoms as depression, irritability, insomnia, forgetfulness, confusion, constipation and crying bouts. This treatment was even mentioned in the 1899 Merck Manual for Physicians. It appears that vibrators cut the treatment time from an hour to a few minutes and kept those happy patients coming back for more.
Today, those same doctors hand out antidepressants and other powerful drugs for those same symptoms. I’m a full proponent of going back to the old ways.
By the early 1900’s, dozens of vibrator models were on the market powered by electrical current, water, gasoline and air pressure. They were marketed as home appliances right along with the sewing machines and toasters. Manufacturers advertised in such magazines as Needlecraft, Woman’s Home Companion and dildos were even featured in the 1918 Sears Roebuck catalog. Of course, the models were always applying the newest must have home appliance to their faces and the back of their neck but everybody knew their intended purpose.
When in the 1920s early porno flicks started featuring woman pleasuring themselves with the household appliances, the holy right got busy and no more shopping from the wish book. With feminism and the sexual revolution, the vibrator made a comeback in the 1970s. This time, it was no doubt about its intended use. They came shaped exactly like a penis in all sizes and colors some even having side attachments to stimulate the clitoris and the g-spot.
Men got fucking scared. What if we didn’t need them anymore? What if we got addicted to our vibrators?
In actuality, studies show that eighty percent of women can’t climax through intercourse alone. Vibrators can be the ticket from frustration to sexual fulfillment. I’m quite convinced if eighty percent of men couldn’t get their rocks off except with the use of a vibrator, they’d be sold on every street corner.
I have a collection of over a dozen vibrators in all different sizes, shapes and colors.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t prefer a real man with a real mouth and penis. It’s just that sometimes you’re between men or they’re working, pouting in their workshop, traveling on business or just can’t get it up one more time.
I take my vibrators everywhere I go. I believe in the motto “don’t leave home without it”. My vibrators have traveled to thirty-six states and seventeen foreign countries. I’m not good at keeping them discrete.
I’ve had them fall out from between my mattress and box springs and roll across the floor when forgotten and the movers came to disassemble the bed.
I’ve also had my carry on luggage turned upside down after the scanner at the airport sighted something suspicious and my vibrator was then prominently displayed to my boss who was in the security line behind me. I am just lucky I wasn’t in Alabama where I might have been arrested instead of just mortified.
Oh shit, I just did some research and found out Georgia has a law banning having more than six vibrators in your possession. Their reasoning is that if you have that many, you must be in the illegal vibrator distribution business.
As if the men who passed these laws can’t understand someone wanting a little variety. I bet every one of those suckers has had extra marital affairs but yet they spend their time and energy dictating vibrator usage. If you just give me one night with my vibrator and one of those Alabama Supreme Court justices, you can betcha you’d have a convert. Personally, I think the dildo patrol needs to look at the economy, unemployment, crime, health care and hunger and leave women and their vibrators to the ecstasy of their bedrooms. The world would just be a much happier place.