I cracked an HIV joke.
Half the crowd laughed.
The other half glared.
Was I wrong?
I was in the audience last week at the benefit screening of Sex Positive, the documentary about the S&M Hustler who originally came up with the idea of safe sex in the 80’s. Can I say something? You suck. You made some lame joke that insulted every HIV+ guy in the audience. Don’t you think we have enough on our plates without arrogant pricks like you making fun of us? You owe everybody, including the sponsor, an apology for your ill-conceived remarks.
— a FORMER fan of your column
Dear Former:
I really wished you’d have come up to me after the screening—I was giving away free samples of ANAL-EZE, the desensitizing cream for overly sensitive assholes like you.
Now, before I rip you a new one, let’s set the scene for the folks who weren’t there: I helped moderate the Q&A portion of the screening with drag diva Bubba D. Licious. There were, I don’t know, what 200 people there?
Anyway, I started out by asking the panel of HIV experts onstage if there was any room for humor when we talked about HIV and safe sex. The “joke” that so deeply offended your ass, ANAL-EZE, was actually a quote an HIV+ guy had written to my column. He had recently been infected with HIV and was struggling with a way to disclose the information to potential partners without freaking them out.
Here’s his joke:
“Two hydrogen atoms meet in a bar. One says, “I can’t go home with you because I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”
Half the room exploded with laughter. The other half glared at me (your half). I went on addressing the panel saying, “My point, and I do have one, is that laughter is the Vaseline that makes ideas penetrate better, yet I never see the subject ever treated with humor. Again, is there room for the funny bone in the body of work that you do?”
At the after-party some people said it was exactly what the room needed after such a heavy documentary. Other people registered their displeasure, telling me that I had insulted innocent victims of the infection who were sitting in the audience.
Which group was right? The people who think there’s a place for humor in the middle of a ravaging disease or the people who don’t?
When I’m asked where I got HIV,” comedian Steve Moore used to quip in his stand-up act, “I say, ‘I know for a fact I got it from a toilet seat. Of course, there was a man sitting on it at the time.’”
Needless to say, I think people like you, ANAL-EZE, need to get an outfit to match that stick up your ass. Yes, humor cuts but it can also heal. Especially when you feel so fucking helpless at what’s going down.
I, for one, believe that HIV/AIDS has got to be taught some manners. It came into our living rooms, wiped its muddy boots, took a lot of our best people, and then had the nerve to eat our pretzels.
The least we could do is make fun of it.