Now mind you, this was not just redundant crotch shot trolling behavior, it’s research. I had to save many photos until I found the perfect one. I’m sure I’ll use the others at some point in the future. I do however need to remember to explain to Mr. Cult Diva why there are so many gay porn sites saved to “favorites” now.
However it was the Mr. that inspired this particular post. Once again he proved to me that men and women are from two polar opposite universes and will never fully understand each other’s thought process.
I was reading him selections from my latest, unsolicited catalog “Time for Me”, which seems to be a company dedicated to the well-being of older (meaning my age) women. I became particularly enamored by the concept of the “Sexy Incontinence Protection” underpants. I love word play and oxymorons, but the very idea of “sexy” and “incontinence” being used in the same sentence sent me into hysterical laughter. I am no longer incontinent as you may remember from an earlier post, “You Can’t Glam Up Depends”, so I am allowed to make fun of anyone who is.
The cute, lacy panties can hold up to 4.5 ounces of liquid AND be washed and re-worn up to 200 times if you actually survive the embarrassment of piddling yourself the first time.
I’ve been seeing lots of ads lately for incontinence products for women and men. Apparently we are a country filled with leaky bladders these days. I saw a commercial the other day for a men’s version of Depends. I guess the diaper-ish ones for women are not “masculine” enough, so they created a version for men that looks like Kotex for Dudes. I think they have extra room in the scrotal area to accomodate all that ball sag that accompanies aging.
Nice picture of a guy golfing on the front. Men can relate to him. He can drive that ball at least 200 yards down the fairway now that he doesn’t have to worry about pissing himself on the down swing.
This is however the suburban version for old, white Republican men. I’m sure marketing and sales worked overtime to come up with a way to sell these to men. Despite the bi-lingual packaging, I don’t see los hombres lining up to purchase these. I can’t even imagine how they’re going to get the brothers to buy them.
Mr. Cult Diva inadvertantly came up with the solution though. When I mentioned the concept of adult diapers for men last night, his response was absolutely priceless. In one sentence he came up with the perfect marketing strategy.
He thought about it a moment and said, “Well I’d wear them as long as they made me look like I was packing.”
There is male reasoning and logic at it’s most basic level. If it makes their dick look bigger, they don’t mind wearing pee pee pads out in public.
My spouse then went on to explain how that could help old guys pick up women easier. Because we all want old guys with bulky, rustling crotches. “Just picture it”, he tried to convince me, “he’s walking around in expensive shoes, wearing a Rolex, and has this enormous crotch, what….you wouldn’t want that? Big bulge in the front, all women like that, right?”
“At that advanced age I’d be happy if I he’s moving under his own power without the aid of a walker or Little Rascal.”, I replied dryly. My husband has odd ideas about what women look for in men. I personally tend to look for the bulge in the back that indicates a full wallet or money clip.
But that’s just me.
I did however find out that you could purchase man pads by the case through Amazon and get a huge discount. If I order them tonight, I can get them to him by Father’s Day.
Now I know why the guys in the “Depends for Men” commercial are all swaggering around. They all think they look like they’re packing quite the granny gouger in their high waisted Dad jeans.
Maybe I need to use one of them for a “Wide-On” feature. Older guys in diapers, hot or not?
Love and Kisses,
Cult Diva