Tony Thompson on the pluses and minuses of dating somebody new.
Since the dawn of time, all of mankind has been plagued with questions that distract and taunt us.
Why do bad things happen to good people? What is my purpose in life? Why is “The View” still on the air? Most of these types of questions are best left unanswered, yet they bob in and out of our minds on a daily basis.
Being single can be a bottomless well of unanswerable questions, triggering confusion and frustration rarely seen outside of a Physics class. While in the midst of a dating dry spell, one finds themselves consumed with thoughts as to why no one wants to go out with them. Is it because of what you do for a living, where you hang out, who you know, or because you look like an Ewok? These concerns turn out to be as insignificant as a Mosque in Alabama once you actually start dating someone. That’s when the real trouble begins.
Anyone with a lick of sense will tell you that the keys to a happy relationship are simple: trust and communication. But in a way, that’s like trying to breakdown the complexities of something as confusing as organic chemistry into a sound bite. The notion of both trust and communication as being “simple” is ridiculous. In the long run (if you’re lucky to actually experience the long run), they become second nature. But on the path towards commitment they make about as much sense as Sarah Palin.
Trust is something that both attracts and disgusts us when we find ourselves at the start of a new relationship. We are drawn to the idea of having met someone that we trust, yet there’s no fun in dating someone that no one else wants. A little jealousy and confusion can be a good thing, assuming that it doesn’t turn into a situation where you find yourself camped outside of their house dressed in Army fatigues and holding a pair of binoculars.
In my experience, trust seems to be something that just suddenly shows up in its true form unexpected, like Shrek’s girlfriend. You really don’t know where exactly that it came from (and it startles you), but you wind up falling in love with it.
Communication is a painful necessity in the family of body waxing and paying your taxes. You hate doing it, it’s painful and expensive, but you really have no choice. These days, what exactly constitutes communication is as abstract as a Picasso.
If you don’t hear from someone for a week, yet they commented on a photo of you on Facebook, does that meet communication requirements? Are emails and text messages considered communicating? The wonderful thing about communication in 2009 is that there are dozens of avenues towards staying in touch with people that you already know and care about, but finding that perfect forum to get to know someone better can be a real pain in the ass.
Plus, communication in itself can be something that you thought you wanted with an individual that you’re just getting to know, but that granted wish can turn on you like a pit bull. While communicating, they can inform you that they’re an ex-convict, a Mormon, or that they have no interest in monogamy.
Not a blessing in disguise, but a curse in disguise, dating is tough. For most single people, life is divided between wondering why you’re not dating anyone and then trying to decipher the code of that person that you just started dating. With a little luck and patience, trust and communication might suddenly appear like the Publishing Clearing House people. Hang in there. Be honest about what you want. And don’t get caught outside of his place wearing night vision goggles.