May might be National Masturbation Month, but every day is Masturbation Day, says guest blogger Deborah Bailey.
I’ve been a chronic masturbator since the age of thirteen and after 40 years of practice, I’ve gotten quite good at it. After sneaking and reading my Mama’s copy of The Sensuous Woman written under the pseudonym J (Joan Garrity) published in 1969, I began a daily regimen of self gratification. In her book, Joan Garrity gave explicit instructions on how to masturbate and actually encouraged masturbation. Masturbation was frowned upon in my Southern Baptist family as something leading to a fast track to hell, blindness, insanity, acne and abnormal hair growth. Yet, my stolen afternoons with my favorite cucumber led me to understand how to give myself an orgasm and led to my current fascination and love of pleasuring myself.
In 1995, May was officially declared National Masturbation Month by a company called Good Vibrations www.goodvibes.com to protest firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders. Elders was asked a question about safe sex and responded with “Masturbation is something that should be taught in schools.” Sex education providers around the nation agreed with her but the conservative consensus didn’t and she was fired. Too bad, because that sounds like a class that kids would have actually enjoyed the homework for. In this age of kids doing everything on Nintendo or PlayStation, it would be nice to see teenagers actually doing something IRL (in real life). Somehow, I don’t see a masturbation video game ever being as interesting as actual masturbation.
Continuing with the attempt to educate people about the benefits of masturbation, Carol King of Good Vibration created the Masturbate-a-thon in 2000. This year it was held in San Francisco at the California Center for Sex and Culture on May 2nd and raised over $5,000 to support sex education and sex safety.
Some of the competitions from this year’s Masturbate-a-thon and the winners were:
• Longest time spent masturbating – this year’s male winner was Sato Masanobu clocking in at 9 hours and 58 minutes and the female winner Kitty Kat at 7 hours
• Longest squirt distance – this event is open to both women (squirters) and men (ejaculators). I haven’t been able to find the name of the female winner but the male winner was Flint Greasewood at 5 feet 4 inches.
• Most orgasms – The male winner was 6 and female 49 (who said women are the weaker sex?)
Now just because you missed the Masturbate-a-thon doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate for the remainder of the month.
Why do people masturbate?
Men and women masturbate when they are lonely, horny, not satisfied, bored, too insecure to have sex with a partner, or because it feels good.
The Masturbation Challenge
I challenge each and every one of you to take the rest of the month and get jiggy with yourself. I know I will but well, I don’t need an excuse because I masturbate every day even though I have a terrific sex life with Mr. Peach Tart.
I would recommend two sites to explore for your sexual needs. The first is the site mentioned above who declared May as Masturbation month. www.goodvibes.com. Here you can find every sex toy you might ever need. For those of you who are too embarrassed to go to your local sex shop you will have complete anonymity. Besides sex toys (for men and women), they also carry a great selection of how-to-books, erotica, DVDs (including those made for women by women), lubes, erotic art, etc.
I being the chronic masturbator that I am, can highly recommend a couple of suggestions for you women that have helped me get my freak on.
1. Run, don’t walk and get the Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s the best selling and queen of all vibrators and will assist even the most orgasmically challenged woman to hours of bliss. Important note: Do not use with a voltage converter. I took mine along on a trip to Provence last summer and nuked it because the current is too powerful to handle a standard foreign country converter which led to 2 weeks of major sexual frustration and an increase in the French GNP. French economic experts were puzzled at the sudden surge in cucumbers and zucchini sales.
2. The Rabbit – this device stimulates the clitoris and g-spot at the same time. It’s most noted in an episode of Sex and the City in which Charlotte had a vibrator intervention by her friends when she wouldn’t leave the house being addicted to her newly found Rabbit.
3. Betty Dobson is known as the Grandmother of female masturbation. Buy her book, Sex for One, the best how-to-book on pleasuring yourself.
4. Check out www.lelo.com. They carry a lipstick sized vibrator called MIA which allows for USB charging so you can always get your vibe on. For the high end collectors, they also carry 18K gold plated dildos.
I won’t give a more detailed listing of my dozens of dildos and vibrators on-line because I live in Georgia. Georgia actually has a law restricting ownership of more than 6 vibrators for your personal use. Their reasoning is that if you have that many, you must be in the illegal vibrator distribution business.
So all…go forth and have your way with yourself.