“I’m openly advertising that I want something,” writes guest blogger Tony Thompson, “with very little promise of reward.”
Like way too many people in this ravished economy, I have recently found myself unemployed and looking for a job. My resume sits patiently on dozens of online job boards, waiting for any part of it to catch someone’s eye. Daily I scour employment sites, trying to find the perfect marriage of a job and my skill level. The entire process seems oddly familiar to me, the constant hope that with the click of a mouse I’ll stumble upon a suitable match. I check my email dozens of times a day, hoping to have heard back from a company I’ve contacted. Empty mailboxes are sober reminders of rejection. I’m openly advertising that I want something, with very little promise of reward.
It occurred to me recently after reviewing my employment profile for the seventh time in one day, trying to see my work history through the eyes of a stranger, that I’m not only looking for a job, I’m online dating.
It’s rough putting yourself out there. Gone are the days when to avoid rejection we simply didn’t strike up a conversation with the gorgeous underwear model standing next to us in a bar. Now we willfully put up pictures of ourselves, slave over our online bios, and launch our dignity off into cyberspace for all the world to see. With the internet, even the most timid of us becomes a titan of ego. With what basically breaks down to be a billboard of ourselves, we submit our dating profiles to a cruel and judgmental public. We become marketing geniuses. We find just the right picture from just the right angle with just the right lighting. Then we sit back and wait for the customers to come to us. And just like with any failed business plan, if the strategy doesn’t generate any foot traffic, we rework our efforts.
As if combing over our products with a fine tooth comb wasn’t trouble enough, along came Facebook. Facebook has a feature to which your friends can tag you in photos, meaning that if someone snaps a picture of you drunk out of your mind, topless, moments before you vomit all over the coffee table, without your consent that Kodak moment can wind up on your online profile. In one instant, Facebook can destroy your brand. You are able to remove the unwanted photo, but you have to be logged in to do so. You can be innocently away from your computer, grocery shopping, giving the dog a bath, and return to discover that your life’s work has been destroyed by a bad picture. Suddenly your Match.com boyfriend whom you’ve yet to meet and have befriended on Facebook falls off the map.
Another striking comparison between the online job search and the online dating scene is that of the half-hearted attempt at contact. When you first begin either of the two, you shoot for the stars! No one is out of your league! The Italian plastic surgeon millionaire with a full head of gorgeous hair? Sure! I’ll send him a wink! CEO for a Fortune 500 company? Sure I only have a Journalism degree and manage money worse than Enron, but why not? But as your email inbox sits barren, over time you change course. Divorced, overweight, and unemployed BUT he also likes music? I’ll give it a shot! The local bathhouse is hiring guys to hose down the spooge on the floor? Why not? It’ll get me out the house.
Obama has promised to fix the current employment crisis, but what exactly does he have planned to fix the dating crisis?