The women are not supposed to chase the men.
The men are supposed to chase the women.
It’s wrong. It’s just plain wrong. It violates the social order of the universe.
Yes, I’m talking about The Bachelor, the horrific reality show where a group of attractive young women compete for the attention of one man.
It’s just plain gross, and after seven seasons of this smut, I can no longer stay silent.
No I’m not offended at the TV trend of creating cheap programming by inserting cameras into the lives of crazy people. As an ardent fan of Toddlers & Tiaras, I’ve always said, one family’s dysfunctions are another family’s Friday night entertainment. It’s a free country and if you want to tart up your two-year-old in the hopes of her becoming Little Miss Chitlin’ Strut, you better believe I’m going to watch every mascara-running minute of it.
Nor do I believe that television has a moral responsibility for upholding standards of taste and decency. If the general public wants to lower the bar, who am I to quibble with the network execs for dumbing down our collective IQ?
My outrage has nothing to do with taste, privacy or decency. My moral opposition to The Bachelor is because it violates the laws of nature.
The women are not supposed to chase the men. The men are supposed to chase the women.
Who does not know this?
That’s why women have shorter legs; because we’re the ones who are supposed to be caught.
Now before you get yourselves in a bra-burning snit, please allow me to proudly inform you that my great-grandmother marched with Susan B. Anthony, and I bought my two daughters Tonka Trucks. So save your angry letters.
I’m actually fighting this battle on behalf of women. Naïve young women who have been manipulated by a TV show to act as stupid and reckless as, well, young men.
The show’s web site says, “one man hopes to find true love after meeting 25 women.” Ha! What really happens is the women compete against each other, while the Bachelor sits back and enjoys the chase. Actually relishes the chase, because the women do anything to get noticed.
Can you not see the fundamental problem with this? Men are supposed to make fools of themselves competing for women, not the other way around.
It’s no coincidence that not one of the bachelors ever married the woman he gave his final rose to.
Yes, I know the most recent bachelor wept big puppy dog tears when he had to choose between two wonderful girls. But Mr. Emotional changed his mind a few weeks later, further proving the point. Men shouldn’t be allowed to choose, because they can’t.
I’m surprised he didn’t ask the producers to let it go on for four seasons – “Let’s not quibble here ladies there’s enough of me to go around.”
It’s also no coincidence that the only marriage to ever come out of the Bachelor franchise was on The Bachelorette, when Trista chose Ryan, after he battled it out with 24 other men to win her heart.
That’s the way it’s supposed to work. The more effort the man puts into winning the prize, the more he appreciates it. And the harder we watch him work, the more secure we feel about being won.
Whether it happens on TV or in your local bar, men chasing women is the proper social order.
But when a bunch of girls get drunk, snarky and lose their clothes, just to get a rose from a man, well, that’s just entertainment.