Learn how to prep for gay anal sex with our original illustrations. They’ll help you understand important concepts about preparing for butt sex, and yeah, probably give you a stiffy.
Let’s talk about hygiene. Are you fearful of leaving so many tire tracks on your sheets NASCAR will want them for a logo? Be assured that’s not going to happen if you follow our advice. Our motto is, “No Pain, No Stains.”
Before we start, we’re assuming you know how to have gay sex painlessly. Don’t be your worst enema–if you don’t know how, check out our page, How To Bottom Without Pain.
Ok, now that we’ve flushed the preliminaries down the toilet, here are some of the subjects we’ll cover:
Do hygiene worries stop you from bottoming? They should. Have you seen what comes out of men when they go to the toilet? It’s amazing we don’t need hazmat suits to get out of the bathroom alive!
You are absolutely justified in your hygiene fears. The thought of a partner pulling out and seeing his manhood covered in heirloom chocolate would make anyone throw themselves screaming from a helicopter.
Of course, we’re exaggerating. It is exceedingly rare to experience the kind of shit show you fear. We’re going to show you how to avoid all of the unpleasantness—stains on the sheets, nose-scrunching odors and general after-sex embarrassment with just a few precautions.
How Shit Works
We cannot have a conversation about keeping your butt clean for anal sex without a full understanding of a delicate subject: How you eliminate waste from your body.
Your fears of needing a pooper-scooper device by your bed are based on a misconception that feces are stored in the rectum. In fact, they are not.
As you can see below, feces are stored in the sigmoid colon, which sits above the rectum.
The Sigmoid Juncture (a type of sphincter muscle) prevents stool from entering the rectum unless you consciously allow defecation to take place.
Illustration: Stool is stored in the Sigmoid Colon, not the rectum or anal canal. Unless your partner has an Anaconda for a penis, it is never going to loosen the Sigmoid Juncture, which prevents stool from entering the rectum.
Once defecation occurs, a combination of anatomical structure, neural switches, and reflex triggers make it impossible for stool to remain in your rectum.
Now, often there is residue, for sure, and we’ll talk about cleaning it up that later. But for now, know that your rectum, the place that will lovingly hold and pet the penis when you’re bottoming, is a pipeline, not a storage device.
It is the Panama Canal between the sigmoid colon and your sphincter. Ships can only pass through; they cannot anchor.
Shit Just Got Real
The sigmoid colon releases waste (stool) to the rectum when the body is ready for elimination and only when it is ready.
There are several ways the body makes sure that things don’t ‘slip’ into the rectum accidentally.
First, the juncture between the sigmoid colon and the rectum lies at ninety degrees. The sigmoid colon is horizontal where it meets the rectum, which lies on a more vertical plane.
This sharp angle stops feces from entering the rectum on their own. “Security” is reinforced by a sphincter muscle between the sigmoid and the rectum (damn, how many sphincters do we have in our bodies!).
In its natural state, this sphincter (the Sigmoid Juncture) is constricted and thus acts as the gatekeeper. It remains tightly shut unless it receives a command from headquarters.
As fecal content grows in the sigmoid colon it exerts pressure on this sphincter muscle. This triggers one of many involuntary “defecation reflexes” and signals the Sigmoid Juncture to open up and let the fecal content into the rectum.
The entry of feces into the rectum distends the rectal wall. There, stretch receptors trigger signals to the descending and sigmoid colon to increase peristalsis (the involuntary constriction and relaxation of the muscles, creating wavelike movements that push the fecal contents forward).
These “waves” of movement pass through all the way to the anus, causing the puborectal sling to loosen, straightening the S-curve in your rectum, and causing the internal sphincter muscles to completely relax.
Defecation happens once you release the external sphincter muscles, which you have conscious control of. When you can’t find a bathroom (and you’d rather not relieve yourself on the carpet) you can clench your external sphincter to keep from defecating.
You will also be aided by the puborectal sling, which acts as “continence muscle” that stops you from farting or taking a shit in the middle of a cocktail party.
When you need to go but can’t, the sling responds to the pressure by contracting, which holds the feces back until you have the opportunity to find a bathroom.
This also brings us to another point worth mentioning about preparing yourself for anal sex. Many guys feel like they have to defecate when a penis enters their rectum.
Why is that? Remember that the rectum has “stretch sensors.” When the rectum is full, stretch receptors fire, giving you the feeling that you have to take a dump.
When a penis enters the rectum, it sets off these stretch sensors, in the way your cat might set off the house alarm.
In other words, that feeling that you have to take a dump? It’s a false alarm. The feeling will wane as your rectum learns to re-interpret the presence of a penis.
It is not possible for you to have a bowel movement during sex, even if it feels like you need to.
At this point, some of you may be nauseated and think, “Why don’t I just stick to giving head?” If so, check out our page on how to give the best blowjobs.
The rest of you might have this question…
What’s All This Shit Have To Do With Getting Your Butt Clean For Anal?
Understanding the process of elimination will reassure you the rectum does not store feces.
Knowledge of anatomy also answers a central concern many guys have about bottoming—you will not release a shit bomb.
Now that you’ve got a solid understanding of how butts work, let’s revisit the original question at the top of this page: How do you get over the natural revulsion you might have about undesirable sights and smells?
As with most problems, the best way to solve this one is to prevent it from happening in the first place.
Illustrations are copyrighted. You may repost them if you link to this page.
How To Clean Butt Before Anal
Although the anal canal and rectum are not storage devices for feces, it’s not exactly like you can eat off your anus like it were Aunt Edna’s kitchen floor.
In our earlier exercises you’ll note that when you pulled your finger out, it was mostly clean but it won’t win the starring role in a Purell commercial.
So the first step in getting yourself clean is to act like a good CSI detective, case the joint and find out if a grime was committed.
Find Out How Dirty You Are Without Inserting A Finger
You don’t have to stick a finger where the sun don’t shine to assess the level of fudge and sludge in your anal canal. You can just look at the toilet after you’ve deposited the remains of the day.
The size, shape and color of your poop will determine how much residue is left in your rectum.
Let’s start the analysis with the sound your stools make as they hit the toilet water. I’d like to quote Dr. Mehmet Oz’s unforgettable observation:
“You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water. If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, ‘plop, plop, plop,’ that’s not right because it means you’re constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh].”
After hearing the swoosh sound (hopefully) look down. Your stool should be an S shape. That signifies that the stool is firm enough that it doesn’t break off in little pieces, but soft enough so it doesn’t hurt coming out.
Don’t worry about the frequency of your bowel movement. “Normal” can be as often as three times a day or as infrequent as three times per week. You’re better off paying attention to the shape, consistency and how the bowel movement smells than anything else.
Healthy bowel movements should not put the next person using the bathroom in an iron lung. Strong or foul smelling stool means there’s something wrong with your diet.
You can also look at your underwear.
Are tire tracks making them look like they hosted a NASCAR event? If you do a little finger mopping up there and come out with more than just a faint residue (there will always be a little) you can bet the culprit is your diet.
Some of you may be nauseated and think, “Why don’t I just become a top so I don’t have to deal with all this?” If so, check out our page on how to be a great top.
How To Prepare For Anal
The best way to get your butt clean for anal is to eat enough fiber so your stool hits the toilet like an Acapulco diver.
That way, a shower and a little finger-mopping would be the only preparation you’d need before sex.
Fiber Keeps Your Shit Together
Soluble fiber dissolves in water but isn’t digested, so it absorbs excess liquid in the colon, forms a thick gel and adds lots of bulk to your feces as it parades up Intestinal Hill and down to Rectum Road, picking up stragglers. It also softens and pushes through impacted fecal matter.
Fiber Shapes Your Shit
Ever see those old videos of Tokyo transit police using giant swab sticks to push passengers into overcrowded trains? That’s what insoluble fiber (like broccoli) does.
Since it won’t dissolve in water and can’t be absorbed by the body, it passes through your stomach essentially intact, compacting brown “passengers” into the intestinal train and giving them the best shape to go through the colon and out your anus without breaking off and leaving unwanted specimens.
Fiber Is How You Prepare Yourself For Gay Sex
By “bulking up” waste matter and shaping it for easier transit, fiber ensures that feces leave the rectum and anal canal virtually intact, leaving you with just a smidge of sludge, a slight residue that’s easy to clean with a finger job.
The problem is that you most likely suffer from a serious fiber deficiency. How do I know? Because the American Dietetic Association says so.
The recommended fiber intake for men is 30-38 grams. The actual intake? 10-15 grams. This means, you, the average guy, eats less than half the recommended amount of fiber!
The news is worse than you think. Some health experts believe men should eat 60 grams of fiber a day.
Your mission, if you really want to know how to prepare for first time anal, is to consistently eat about 40 grams of fiber a day.
Here are a few tips on how to do that through diet alone:
Eat foods that are high in soluble fiber
Soluble fiber dissolves easily in water, forming a gel-like substance that absorbs water and makes the bowel contents stickier, binding more waste to it.
This slows the speed that foods move through the stomach, making you feel fuller longer and helping you maintain or lose weight.
The slow transit time is incredibly helpful if you suffer from diarrhea. Soluble fiber also softens your stool so it can pass through your system more comfortably.
It also lowers the levels of LDL cholesterol and improves your ability to control your body’s blood glucose level.
Examples of soluble fiber: bananas, apples, brown rice, white beans.
Eat foods that are high in insoluble fiber
Insoluble fiber doesn’t dissolve in water. In fact, it passes through your intestines intact and that’s why it increases stool bulk.
It’s also why it accelerates transit time, relieving constipation.
Examples of insoluble fiber: Kale, lentils, pears.
If you’ve got stomach problems and they tilt toward loose stools you are not going to be prepared for gay anal sex.
So load up on soluble fiber because it slows transit time, relieving diarrhea. If they tilt toward the other way, focus on insoluble fiber as it speeds transit time, relieving constipation.
If nutritional ignorance prevents you from estimating your fiber intake (hey, some guys I know think root beer is a vegetable), you can calculate the fiber in your meals by using WebMD’s dietary fiber calculator.
Now, what if diet alone can’t get you to your fiber goals?
You won’t be ready for anal sex, so it’s time to..
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WITH FIBER SUPPLEMENTS
Fiber supplements can be an enormous help but I would be derelict in my duty if I didn’t say you’re much better off getting fiber through your diet.
The main drawback to supplements is that they lack the vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants you get from eating high fiber foods like fruits, whole grains, and beans.
Still, there’s no downside to taking fiber supplements, so let’s talk about how to decide what you should take.
The kind of fiber supplement (psyllium, methylcellulose, wheat dextrin) or brand (Konsyl, Metamucil, Citrucel, etc.) you take or the forms you take it (pills, powder, caplets, gummy bears) don’t really matter. They all behave in pretty much the same way.
The most common source for fiber supplements is psyllium, which comes from the seeds of a plant species called Plantago Ovata.
When the husk of these seeds is placed in water they expand in size and take on a gel-like consistency. This gel-like mass soaks up water and adds bulk to your stool.
In powder form these supplements taste like sawdust sprinkled with sweeteners. Fortunately, many come in pills and capsules. Start with the minimum dosage in the bottle and work yourself up. S-L-O-W-L-Y.
Too much fiber at one time can make you bloat, pass gas and create unenviable digestive issues. Remember, bedrooms are No Fart Zones.
You don’t want your partners dying of auto-not-so-erotic asphyxiation.
Three things you should know about taking fiber supplements:
1. Spread your fiber intake throughout the day. Don’t take the full dose only at night. Spread it evenly throughout the morning, afternoon and bedtime.
2. Take medications at least one hour before fiber supplements or two hours after. Fiber is known to absorb certain medicines, diverting them from your body.
3. Drink lots of water. Did I say a lot? Because I mean A LOT. Taking fiber without water is like bottoming without lube. It’s going to hurt like hell. Drink at least eight ounces of water with every dosage.
Conclusion: Fiber Is How You Prepare Your Butt For Anal Sex
Eating enough fiber is the only way to make sure that you can bottom without stains or odors.
Fiber improves the passage of feces through your colon so that it comes out soft but firm, sweeping up stragglers and leaving no remnants in the rectum as it exits your anus.
Fiber is not going to make the boys at Brita raise a glass of your butt spit and say, “Now THAT’S filtered water!” But it will make sure that whatever comes out of your poop chute won’t be embarrassing.
How To Clean Butt For Anal Sex
Asking yourself the big question–should you use an enema?
It’s only natural to want a butt so clean your partner’s penis will practically see its reflection upon entering. Will an enema or a douche get you there? Let’s investigate.
Enemas and douches are prescribed by doctors to alleviate constipation and/or clean out the rectal area before surgery. Both flush water up the rectum.
As gravity forces the water down it removes toxins and waste, contracting the rectum which results in a bowel movement.
The chief difference between enemas and douches are how high up they flush and the tools they use to get the job done.
Because enemas are used to treat severe constipation, they need to go up past the rectum into the colon and that usually involves tubes, syringes and sometimes even small hoses.
Douching, on the other hand, is used to clean the rectum, not the colon. Typically, this means using a syringe, a bulb or maybe a plastic bottle (like the Fleet brand sold in drug stores).
Why You Shouldn’t Use An Enema
Enemas are at worst, dangerous and at best, unnecessary. Let’s start with unnecessary and work our way up.
Stick a finger up your bum and you might see a little residue when you pull it out. Use an enema and you’ll watch with horrified fascination at how much shit it flushes out.
How could this be when the finger you pulled out just had a bit of residue or a slight booger?
Most guys think this is evidence of the enema’s effectiveness. They think, “Wow, my ass was a lot dirtier than I thought it was.” In reality, the enema made their rectum dirtier.
See, enemas shoot water way past the rectum into the sigmoid colon, where stool is stored.
The water gets past the Sigmoid Juncture, the sphincter that keeps stool from entering the rectum, and flushes the stool downward, filling your rectum with fecal matter it didn’t contain before you used the enema.
Using an enema to clean your rectum is like using a cannon to get rid of a fly. The solution is worse than the problem.
Once an enema forces stool out of the sigmoid colon into the rectum it creates a shit storm that can only be cleared with, you guessed it, more use of the enema.
Most people do this repeatedly, until the “waters run clear.”
But letting the waters run clear also runs a big risk, as this story so eloquently describes:
Like many bottoms, my gay friend George has a harrowing story about using an enema before anal sex. “I had met a guy on Grindr,” he said. “I get to his place and ring the doorbell. As he opened the door to say hi, I coughed and shat out a load of poo water into my underwear. Loudly. I had to run into his flat, straight to the toilet, and throw my underwear away. It was all down my legs. It killed the mood, needless to say. And, yes, I left the dirty underwear there.”
— Vice Magazine
Colo-rectal doctors refer to George’s experience as a build-up of “residual liquid.” You know this term as “anal leakage,” and it can occur, often explosively, hours after you’re done with an enema or irrigation system like the Shur Shot Shower system (a favorite in the porn industry).
Let me again state the obvious: Gravy is only good on mashed potatoes.
From Humiliating To Dangerous
Enemas aren’t just unnecessary. The medical consensus is that enemas are harmful—unless they’re prescribed for specific medical purposes like severe constipation.
Pushing water or a mixture of water and chemicals up your bum creates a powerful peristalsis (accompanied by bloating and cramping) that “evacuates” everything in your lower intestinal tract.
This will compromise the natural protective fluids and lining in your anus. An intact mucus layer protects your rectal tissues from abrasions, tears or cuts that could endanger your health.
Studies show that frequent ass flushing compromises the rectal mucosa leading to increased risk of transmission of HIV and hepatitis.
There are two ways enemas can compromise the health of anal tissues—first by water removing some or all of the mucus layers and second, by poking yourself too hard with the insertion point of the douching device, which can cause microscopic tears.
Further, overuse of flushing can seriously inhibit normal bowel movement. Water in the intestinal tract creates a downward peristalsis to evacuate it.
Your body can lose its ability to create a natural peristalsis to evacuate your bowels, resulting in “flush dependency” to have a bowel movement.
Meaning, you won’t be able to take a dump without an enema.
A Brief Glimpse Into Porn Star Stupidity
Most porn stars go for heavy-duty flushing armaments. Forget fey Fleet enemas, they use industrial-strength, hose-to-the-faucet enema kits which include a diverter valve that attaches to the same pipe as your shower head, a sturdy gooseneck-type hose, and a special tubular aluminum nozzle.
It’s the equivalent of pressure-washing your insides. One porn star we spoke to illuminated a danger I haven’t yet brought up—the very real possibility of damaging your organs:
“I use Shower Shot and warm water. You can get it anywhere like at Walgreens, but it’s like a long hose and you attach it to the shower faucet, and it shoots up. It cleans your gut that way. The first time I did it, it was painful because I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to turn the water full blast. And I didn’t have sex for a week after that.”
Another danger of using shower attachments is the very real possibility of burning your organs. A temperature that might feel fine on your hands might scald an organ.
Porn stars not only do the wrong thing with industrial-strength equipment, they like to do it often.
One porn star told us, “If I’m going to a shoot, I do it right before I leave the house. And then when I arrive, I do a last-minute touch up.”
You know, just in case there’s any lining left in his anus.
Listen, if your rectum is so dirty you have to hose it out, the answer isn’t a fire hydrant connection; it’s a better diet. Put yourself on a fiber plan. It won’t just help you bottom without stains; it’ll help in a lot of aspects of your health.
How To Prepare Yourself For Gay Anal Sex
Should You Douche?
First, the good news. As you can see from the illustration below, douching with an anal bulb avoids the mess that enemas can make.
Using an anal bulb douche can significantly reduce the “anal leakage” enemas can produce.
Here’s the bad news: Douching carries similar risks to using an enema, depending on what tools you’re using.
Most guys use a bottle of Fleet, an ear or ass syringe (typically a seamless 8” bulb with a detachable tip), or some type of home kit they put together.
As you can see from the chart below, the risk factors for douching are lower than an enema but they still pose significant risks.
Using douches or enemas aren’t just unhealthy—they’re impractical. You have to wait two or three hours after your last meal and at least two hours before sex to avoid latent anal leakage (remember George!).
The Safest Way To Get Yourself Clean Enough For Anal Sex
Eat enough fiber to paste the government’s food pyramid to the floor. Drink lots of water. Eat a light dinner before the blessed event. Take a dump. Shower.
Clean the outside of your anus with soap and water. Lube up a finger with silicone lube, squat down to straighten out your S curve and start finger fracking. Gently.
It will take just a minute or two to clear the area. When you can retrieve a clean finger, soap up and rinse one last time.
I now pronounce you clean enough to bottom.
If You Insist On Douching
Limit it to special events that require a porn-quality rectum. Buy an anal syringe from a drug store and follow the instructions in the package.
Avoid the temptation of squeezing the bulb as hard as you can to get the water up higher. Remember, you want to clean the rectum, not the sigmoid colon.
The harder you squeeze, the more likely water will go into the colon and the more likely that a few hours later, at the most inopportune time, your underwear will look like it got shot with a gravy gun.
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