Should You Use Topical Analgesics Like Anal-Eze?

 

It isn’t just recreational drugs you should stay away from, it’s anything that artificially numbs the pain.  Topical anesthetics like Anal Eze or Oragel are bad ways to, er, get to the bottom of your problem.  Or rather, the problem of trying to bottom.  

 

Why?  Because anything that masks pain is going to cause harm.  Besides, the anesthetics won’t work.  They don’t penetrate far enough to relax the muscle.  

 

Topical agents like Anal Eze have unintended consequences even for porn stars, which is why most of them don’t use it.  As one porn star bottom told us:

 

“I was shooting a film for a weekend period, and the first night I had gotten ripped up by a top and I had to compensate for that by using a numbing cream like Oragel or something similar.  

 

But anyhow, I used it to numb my ass so I could keep on shooting that weekend and one of the tops (another top) was playing with my ass and was beating my hole with his cock and got some of the Oragel on it and it went soft because my “ass cream” numbed his cock.  So when he pulled out, his dick was soft and numb.  The whole thing was, the giggle was, that my ass was so tight that it had made his dick go numb.”

WHAT ABOUT ICE?

One adult performer told us of a technique some performers who bottom use for pain—ice.  Here’s what he said:

 

“Personally for me, I did not use any drugs whatsoever.  The closest thing I would do for numbing myself up especially if I was going to take someone really large is to take a cube of ice.  If you shove a cube of ice up your ass, it’s so cold, it will numb the sphincter muscle to prepare taking that dick.  It’s a common practice.”

 

There are so many levels of wrong in using ice for the pain it’s hard to know where to start.  Maybe with the idea that you should never mask the pain because it’s your body’s way of saying STOP?  Nah, I’ve said that too often.  

Dear Trying:

Your letter is a prime example of Einstein’s theory that only two things are infinite–the universe and male stupidity.

Hopscotching across the house from dildos to dicks?  I couldn’t make up this shit if I tried.  First of all, you’re doing everything wrong.  Second, you’re doing everything wrong.  Third, see points one and two.

Anal Eze and its ilk are the single worst things you can use to get to the bottom of your problem.  Or rather, the problem of being a bottom.

Why?  Because pain is a signal that something’s wrong.  If you mask the pain you’re going to end up doing something terrible, like tearing the lining of your rectum.  Or worse, getting the idea that your friends want to sit through a three-hour community theater production starring you.

Besides, the anesthetics won’t work.  They don’t penetrate far enough to relax the muscle.  It’s like using full sentences to seduce a party boy:  Good luck.

If you really want to try topical anesthetics you’ll need a prescription from a doctor because the over-the-counter crap doesn’t work.

And if you do manage to get a prescription, I’d love to see your HMO’s reaction to the diagnosis.  I mean, what’s your doctor going to say to get the treatment approved?  “Patient has trouble getting fucked in the ass?”

If you want to bottom without any pain there’s a couple of things you need to know.

First, the anus has two sphincter muscles, the internal sphincter and external sphincter, which control your bowel movements.

Your internal sphincter is an involuntary muscle — which means you can’t control it. This is the sphincter that relaxes to let out gas and the stinky brown stuff.

Your external sphincter is both a voluntary muscle (you can squeeze it to prevent yourself from taking a dump on the table of a pretentious dinner party, though who could blame you for failing) and an involuntary one (it contracts reflexively when something from the outside wants in).

So here’s the thing:  No matter how much you want to get fucked, your muscles will contract to keep the beast out.  Luckily, like any muscle, it can’t stay contracted for very long before it relaxes.

The trick is to trick your muscles into letting your trick in.  Here’s how: