Troubleshooting Your Texting Problems

What if he responds but with short, clipped answers?

Dude, you’re dead.  I say this with love– if he’s giving you yes or no answers to essay questions you’re a fighter jet about to get a big helping of missile.  Stop texting him for a week or two then send him one of the “unclogger” texts.  Time is your only hope for getting a do-over.  If he doesn’t hear from you for a while he’s going to wonder where you went and possibly make him more amenable to restarting a thread.

He responds well but isn’t flirty.  Does that mean he’s not interested?

At this point, you should start sending flirtier texts (see next chapter for details).  Is he flirting back?  Almost every girl has had the experience of texting a guy who responds, maybe even right away, but doesn’t flirt back.  Or maybe he texts interesting stuff but never with any flirting energy.  There is always the possibility that he’s shy or doesn’t know how to flirt or lacks the social skills to do it.  There is also a small percentage of men who hate texting. And there’s also a tiny percentage of men who think they’re text flirting but aren’t. They think merely answering a question is proof that they’re romantically interested.

That said, the news isn’t good.  You ain’t dead but you’re headed to the morgue.  At this stage the only thing that will save you is a phone call or meeting up for a coffee or something non-datish like going to a sports game.  You might be pleasantly surprised to find out that he’s actually into you but doesn’t like to text.  And if he’s purposefully not text flirting because he’s not romantically attracted, then hearing your voice or being with you might change his mind.

Of course, that means YOU have to call or ask him out and that’s a deal breaker for most women because it puts them in the uncomfortable position of chasing a guy.  Still, your operating principle should be “chase him until he catches you” and there are certain ways you can ask him out without looking like a girl who knows eight languages and can’t hear NO in any of them.

The best way to do it is to text him some version of the following:

“Hey, a friend just gave me two tickets to the game.  Wanna go and see who can cheer the loudest?”

By stating that you were “given” two tickets you keep things casual and avoid the appearance of asking him out. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this you can always go silent for a few weeks, send him an “unclogger” text and see if he picks up the scent.

Conclusion:  Going From Worst To First.

Let’s say he got your number but you could tell he just wasn’t that into you.  So you did the right thing.  You:

Waited two days before you texted back.
Sent a quirky/fun/observational text, not an open-ended one like “what’s up?”
You reinforced the memory of your interaction—with wit.
Kept it short but stimulating.
Used proper grammar.

Then as things progressed you:

Didn’t overuse emoticons.
Stayed out of the friend zone by slyly complimenting his looks.
Were decisive when he asked a question.
Audited for possible misinterpretations.

Congratulations!  I see a ring in your future.  Or at the very least, another notch on your lipstick case.  Once he’s fully present and engaged it’s time to ramp up the romantic and sexual tension.  In the next post I’m going to show you how to go from “Badda Bing” to “Badda BANG.”