What Should You Do At The Exact Moment You Can’t Get Hard Enough To Penetrate? 

It’s one thing to fear a loss of erection in the future, but what do you do in the moment? Suppose you’re about to enter your partner and for whatever reason you go soft? 

First, acknowledge what’s happening:  “Yeah, I’m not hard enough.”

Then, acknowledge its universality:  “It happens to everyone.”

Next, understand it isn’t permanent:  “It’s okay it’s only temporary.” 

Acknowledge this to your partner:  “I’m not hard enough right now” and get off him. 

If you went soft because of a distraction, correct it: “Let me take the dog out so he stops barking.”

If you don’t know why you went soft, interrupt the session: “I’ve gotta go to the bathroom, be right back.”

This last point is especially important. Taking a break from the sexual activity removes you from an environment that isn’t serving you. Get a snack, go to the bathroom, put some music on. Taking a break interrupts the current path and resets your body. You’ll be amazed at how a five or 10-minute interruption can clear the deck for your dick. 

Should you attempt to top your partner again? 

No, if you feel like you have to prove something—that’s a recipe for a repeat. Yes, if your unhelpful thoughts are crowded out by an immersion into desire. 

But the bigger answer is that it doesn’t matter. Place the moment against the arc of your entire sex life. Is penetration at this particular moment of your sexual career all that important?

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation last night was horrible! I was distracted, my legs ached, and I fell asleep. It was just horrible!” 

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly. 

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation last night was wonderful! I felt so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It was just terrific!’ 

“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

You should begin to look at all your sexual experiences with the teacher’s wisdom.  Were you able to penetrate your partner with a satisfying erection?

It’ll pass.

Did you become impotent at a critical moment?

It’ll pass.