How To Give An Amazing Blowjob Part 21
“Spitters Are Quitters”: The Case For Swallowing
What could be more intimate than sharing the “essence” of someone you love? Sex is about coming together, becoming one in an intensely pleasurable encounter. It’s about communion, merging, sharing. It’s an act of love. Swallowing is a way of showing how much you want him to be a part of you.
Some women are obsessed with swallowing because of the meaning they’ve ascribed to it. Some feel not just connected but “owned.” It can feel like the ultimate form of surrender—to have his seed ‘planted’ in you.
To others, it’s a kind of trophy they put on their psychic mantle. It isn’t about surrender but about conquest (“I made him cum and now I know what he tastes like”). And to others, it’s simply about feeling special—after all, how many other guys are walking around with his semen inside them? Wait, given the nature of most men, that’s probably not a good question to ask!
Here’s Mud In Yer Eye!
Watch your eyes! The average speed of a man’s ejaculation is 28 mph. Interestingly, that was Olympian Usain Bolt’s fastest run ever recorded. Meaning your guy’s jizz could win an Olympic gold!
The velocity of a man’s ejaculation is believed to give the semen a head start on its journey toward a woman’s egg since once it’s released, the sperm travels at a leisurely pace of 6 inches per hour.
Some historians point to intriguing evidence that some of the most ancient Christian sects, known as “Gnostic Christians” used semen as the sacramental wine of the communion. There are even more ancient rituals in which the ingestion of semen was considered the drinking of Life Itself.
There is also a kind of spiritual dimension to sharing semen. A deep tongue kiss with jism in your mouths can “seal the bond” and springboard you into a deeper dimension of intimacy.
Of course, not everybody sees it that seriously. One friend says, “I love swallowing because it tickles as they wiggle going down.”
Does Diet Affect The Taste Of Semen?
QUESTION:
Remember that famous scene in that early 2000’s classic comedy Sex & the City when Samantha complained that her new boyfriend had “funky-tasting spunk”? Well, I’m in the same pickle. I love swallowing semen but not when I have to choke it down like foul medicine. One weekend my boyfriend and I went away and I did all the cooking, preparing only the foods that are supposed to improve the taste of semen. The result? Awful. I found something I lost years ago—my gag reflex. Is there anything I can do to make his cum taste better?
—Hollerin’ about swallowin’
Dear Hollerin’:
Semen is produced in the reproductive tract, not in the digestive tract. Changing what you eat to improve the taste of your semen is a little like changing your toilet paper to improve the smell of your shit.
The prevailing thought by people WITHOUT medical degrees is that dairy products, which contain a high bacterial putrefaction level create the foulest taste. That and assparagus. And no that’s not something the spellchecker didn’t catch. I sexualize everything, including vegetables.
Here’s what I DO think has a chance of working: Water. Since urine and semen pass along the same tube, it makes sense that semen would be somewhat tainted by residual urine. If you drink a lot of water (and you should) your pee will be crystal clear and less likely to skank up the slank.
Dark, highly concentrated urine, on the other hand, is likely to put the funk in the spunk. It doesn’t matter what foods you eat, your urine will be dark if you don’t drink enough water. So stick a hose down his throat and turn the faucet on before he sticks his hose down yours and turns your stomach sour.
Final Thoughts About The Big Gulp
The vast majority of men want to see you swallow their load, but you are not obligated to do it. I typically categorize swallowing under the tension every couple struggles with in balancing the need to respect boundaries against the expectation of adventure. These imperatives often come up against each other and it’s up to each individual couple to negotiate things out to their satisfaction. Personally, I think you should only do it if you think it’s going to advance your sexual gratification.
Of course, the only way you’re going to find out is to try it. But beware of this business of “I’ll try everything once. ” It’s bullshit, at least when it comes to sex. My philosophy is to try everything three times. The first time you’ll get it wrong, the second time it’ll feel strange and the third time it might feel nice.
“There’s something really sexy about making your partner writhe and moan and feel good. I’ve never had an issue with any smells, tastes or anything like that. Semen isn’t the most pleasant thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, but as long as I swallow it pretty quickly it isn’t an issue.”
—K.
If you’re determined not to swallow, don’t worry. It’s fairly easy to avoid because most men give you clear signals when they’re close to ejaculating. Their cock becomes harder, their breath quickens and their thrusts become faster. And most will tell you that they’re getting close.
For heaven’s sake, do not, under any circumstances, simply stop what you’re doing because you’re afraid that he might cum in your mouth. Imagine how you’d feel if the guy stopped sucking just when you began to orgasm? You’d be like, “Say hi to the curb for me!”
If you feel him getting close to climaxing, pull your mouth off and keep stroking him with your hand until he comes. You won’t get the silver or the gold, but hey, bronze is a medal!
If you can’t read the signals (some guys are remarkably calm when they ejaculate) or he stays silent, you can still avoid it by being clear upfront. Tell him that you don’t want him to cum in your mouth and to warn you when he’s getting close.
Why Does Semen Go From White To Clear In Minutes?
There’s a wide variety of consistency and viscosity in semen, but for the most part, it comes out white and then turns clear. Here’s why: The two glands that make up most of the liquid in semen are at odds with each other. The seminal vesicle contains sugars and proteins that cause semen to coagulate, turning it white. But fluid from the prostate gland contains enzymes that break down that coagulation. So basically, his ejaculate doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going. So it does both. It coagulates as soon as it leaves his penis, then immediately goes into “liquefaction.”
If you have to take one for the team (either by accident or because you simply want to please him) it’s best to look on the bright side of having to swallow or receive a facial:
- It’s usually a small amount to have to deal with.
- Semen is loaded with proteins, nutrients and few calories.
And if it does end up in your mouth, just spit it out on a towel or the sink without judgment. Don’t make a face like the cat just died, or spit it out like it’s poison or reenact the Death Scene From Camille. You’ll just make your guy think you don’t like him very much.
Okay, everything we’ve talked about so far is going to make you a competent partner, but if you really want to be a sublime lover you need to make him forget the universe exists outside of your lips and tongue. And that can only be done with an approach I’ll describe in the next blog installment.