What Kind of Top Do You Want To Be?
In our continuing series on How To Top we investigate what role you want to take on. Your choices are fundamentally between roughness and tenderness, so let’s start there. There are three archetypes of dominant tops that receivers tend to like:
#1 The Command & Control Top Who Gives A Back Alley Pounding
This is the guy you see almost exclusively in porn. He’s locked, cocked and ready to rock. Your wishes as the bottom partner mean nothing to him. You are there to be his receptacle. Does it hurt? Shut up, it’s supposed to hurt. WHACK!
This archetype is firmly embedded in fantasy but it has a lot of fans, as you can see in these quotes I gathered from a variety of gay forums:
“I want them dumber than dirt and fucking like a runaway jack- hammer.”
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“I want a top who’s verbal, aggressive, and knows how to be dirty. A guy who knows what positions he likes and can flip you from one to the other in a second.
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“I like my tops to be muscular, taller than me and very strong because they usually control the pace so they should have the right stamina to do so. I quite like being submissive.”
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“I like a guy to start slow and passionate then pick up and go Wolverine on me.”
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“A good top is one who can take control mentally and physically. This means being big enough and strong enough to push, pull, and drag me around. Strong enough to hold me where he wants me and make sure I’m not going to be able to get away too easily. Also somebody who mentally takes over. Not a pussy who’s afraid to hurt me. Yes, go gentle at first to make sure I’m comfortable and
not in pain, but after we’re relaxed a bit more, let the beast loose!”
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“ I love being shown who is boss.”
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“What turns me on the most is when a man knows what he wants and takes it without any question. I like it rough mostly. I like my ass slapped and a man moaning pushes me overboard. I like it verbal. I’m very sexual and prefer a man that can LAST as well. That’s what I need. A man that knows my limits and yet at times knows that sometimes no really does mean yes.”
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#2 The Romanticized Version of A Dom Top
This is the idealized mix between a good power driller and the dreamy husband who knows how to make love. Get a load of these high-wire descriptions:
What makes a good top? Stamina and ferocity. Selfless devotion to the thrill for the bottom, and outrageous pride in proving himself the most agile and powerful man imaginable. A generous conqueror. The ability to be vocal helps – not so much verbal, but for god’s sake howl a little man! A truly accomplished top is athletic and agile and certain of himself. A brutal force that moves things around with grace that equals a tiger playing with his prey before going in for the kill.
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A good top pulls you up, face to face, and kisses you with the same brutal passion, sucking the wind out of you while drilling as deep as possible.
A truly good top pushes everything down through his cock as an extension of his mind, and he has his partner’s ass begging, pulling, and kneading at his cock, and then responds to that with purpose and a warrior’s devotion to spilling every last drop of his testosterone in, on and all the fuck over you, and not stop until he’s brought you to the edge so many times that you literally explode for him.
And then he has to know how to finish the job, licking, tasting, kissing, and pull you close and let you feel the EXACT same power, near lethal, as you stroke and hold and are tender. Fearless strength of purpose, protective, possessive and just waiting long enough for you to catch your breath before he gets that look that threatens and thrills – ready to start all over.
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A good top for me fucks with his entire body not just his cock … I hate the word dominance …I want to be enveloped and surrounded by his body …even when I’m at my most sluttiest I want a lot of foreplay and touching …I don’t have the most amazing body so I like a top who gets off on my worshipping his …
maybe I don’t hate the word dominate so much …because a good top for me will instinctively know how even when just sitting next to him…putting one of his legs on top of mine makes me feel wanted and warm …
I like a top who knows that even in the middle of a hardcore pounding it feels good to have him lean down and hold me so I can feel his chest muscles against my back ….he knows that just because I came ..doesn’t mean he has to stop.
Next we’re going to talk about the third type of archetypal penetrator: The Tender Top. This series is based on the book, How To Top Like A Porn Star.