Random Thoughts On Gay Life
I have this really cute friend (Chris) on GrindR who was upset at all the, ahm, shall we say, less than attractive guys who kept hitting on him. So here’s what he wrote in his profile:
Look at me.
Look at you.
Really?
I love to hate this line because a) it’s funny as all get out (the good) and b) it’s unnecessarily mean (the bad). Unfortunately, nothing trumps my sense of humor–not even my sense of decency, so I say rock on, Chris!
Gay Age Gaps
My 22-year-old friend C expressed dismay at the age gap between him and his new steady date. I was expecting his new faux-beau to be 32. Wrong direction. He’s 18. Listening to him go on and on about the “Huge age gap” made me laugh. He was certain I was going to tell him it won’t work (he was right actually, but for the wrong reason).
It’s not the age gap that makes it difficult between two guys. It’s the life stage gap. So the difference between 18 and 22 is nothing in age, but huge in stage. One’s just going to college; one’s just getting his first job. There’s actually less of a life stage gap between 22 and 32 than between 18 and 22.
So why won’t it work? As I gently said to C, BECAUSE HE’S 18. So should he stop from even trying? Hell, no! Why would you stop yourself from buying a dozen roses just because they’re going to die? I say enjoy the ride.
The Best Pickup Line of All Time
A recent study showed that the worst conversation starter is “I’m an astro-physicist.” The best one? “What’s your favorite pizza topping?”
But in my opinion, the best pickup line I’ve ever heard (and used) goes like this:
He’s sitting alone and there’s no other chair. So you go get one, put it down next to him and say:
“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
If he doesn’t laugh he ain’t worth it. If he does, you’re halfway up his leg.
Can’t Get A Read On Him? Trust Your Instincts
So, my friend Marc met a guy at the park when he was out of town. They had a little bit of conversation, exchanged numbers for business reasons (both in the same industry) and split. Marc couldn’t tell if the guy was interested but he texted him anyway:
“Hey, great meeting you. Tonight’s my last night here. Can’t leave without buying a cute guy a drink. ;>) Join me later?”
They met, but they had the chemistry of spackle. It cost Marc $40 for drinks and he didn’t even get a kiss. What happened?
When in doubt, qualify. He should never have left it to one or two simple texts. He should’ve flirted with the guy more to understand whether the guy was meeting him to have a drinks-paid, interesting conversation or whether he was actually interested.
When you’re out of town you really do have the luxury of being direct without losing your power. Marc should have been a lot more direct. Like this for starters: “Hey, I’m really attracted to you; hope it’s mutual. Meet for a drink?”
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